[Tuco lets out a small sound as the sudden harsh light of the torch spills upwards. It's not quite a gasp, but there's a definite, audible indrawn breath before he remembers to press his lips together again.
Right now, that box there? That's Schrödinger's box—only instead of a distinctly unlucky cat, it holds both bitter disappointment and all the world's riches at once.
...Or enough riches for one of them, at least. With a soft grunt, Tuco turns, holding up a palm to his three companions.]
Four men shuffle down a corridor all at once? [His mouth twitches into something like a frown.] It's not gonna end well, friends. One boot in the wrong place, and we all end up looking like him. [He gestures to the spider with the end of his pistol.] Eight legs in the air, and very, very dead.
[There's maybe two seconds worth of mock-deliberation and nostril flaring before Tuco nods to himself. That open palm closes, and he draws his hand back to his chest.]
I'll go.
[Whether that quick ladle of bullshit has done the job or not, he's going to take a pointed step backwards.]
We've got two people here who have more experience than us. Doesn't make sense to send you down there on your own when you don't know what to look out for. It should be someone else, or at the very least someone should go with you. Then you can tell the rest of us if it's safe to follow.
[And since Boone is in the same position as Tuco, it means Belloq or Niko should probably go with him.]
[Niko's eyes narrow, but rather than going he turns back and goes to drop his duffle bag near one of the torches. He starts fiddling around in it, making a thoughtful noise.]
I'll need a little bit. [He doesn't seem in a huge rush to go down the hallway towards the nameless treasures just yet.]
[...Okay, so that didn't exactly go as planned, did it? Tuco briefly considers pointing out that he's probably significantly lighter than Niko—that maybe weight makes all the difference somehow, and that inexperience is relative, really.
Instead he nods absently, sending his knuckles up to swipe across his nose. He's not going to argue; he's just there to help out and learn the ropes, right?
Jump-cut to his other heel shifting back across the stone. His face adopts a look of ridiculously over-elaborate innocence, and he presses a hand against the wall like he's suddenly interested in architecture. A scuff of a toe here and a turn there, and wow, would you look at that: he's coincidentally that little bit closer to the chest!
With any luck, he'll be able to continue his casual, "I'm not really moving, I'm just fidgeting" crawl for just long enough that it becomes impractical for him to go back—that, really, he might as well keep going.
...Of course, that doesn't really account for any unexpected clicks.]
[Boone is watching Niko messing with his pack now, not really expecting Tuco to be shuffling slowly over to the chest anyway. As a result, he has no idea that Tuco is headed in that direction. He just sort of assumes he's watching Niko too, because that's the whole point of him being here- to learn from Niko.]
[Belloq watches Tuco carefully. If Tuco springs a trap that kills only himself, it's no great loss. One less person to divide any potential spoils among. But sometimes a trap's effect is more widespread than that. Belloq shifts his weight, ready to run back towards the entrance in case Tuco's steps cause stone walls to lower or giant boulders to come rolling down, flattening everything in their path.]
I would strongly advise you not to take another step, Mr. Ramirez.
[Niko hears the mechanism and looks up quickly. That expression would be priceless if the situation weren't what it is. He looks as if he's about to crawl out of his skin.]
Tuco, no, take a step this way. [He's already getting up, but it might be too late. Darts whistle across at the end of the corridor.]
[Tuco expects some kind of give beneath his boot—that he'll set a foot down, and the stone beneath will start to shift like a loose paving. He's prepared for that. What he isn't prepared for is the snap as he whips around look at Belloq.
There's a sensation like a cold, icy finger trailing across his neck, and he freezes, eyes impossibly wide and mouth stretched in a kind of rictus of startled alarm.
When he finally reanimates, it's with a full-bodied jerk that has him twisting back to point his gun at whatever it is that's causing the hissing coming from behind him. Although he then does exactly as he's told, (he's an opportunist, not a complete idiot) his initial step back turns into an all out scrabble as he howls and drops low. The motion ends with him practically throwing himself in a leap-turned-faceplant worthy of a high school quarterback.]
Shit!
[The reedy whine is followed by a barrage of unintelligible cursing that lasts up until he eventually finishes his floor hugging crawl. He has absolutely, positively, unquestionably been hit, and from the way he's drawing one arm in, knees sliding up to his chest, it's fair to say it probably hurts a fair bit, too.]
Niko Tuco Boone and Belloq sounds like a messed up children's story waiting to happen.
[Damn! Niko has to keep low to the ground as he scuttles over, a dart flying out of one pinhole to the opposite wall. And again. He pulls Tuco back, dragging him across the floor. He doesn't see a pattern of fire yet, but once he has him out of range he decides to thrust a large needle at Boone and Belloq.]
Here, take this! Give him a shot in the shoulder.
[In the meantime he frantically pilfers through his bag for fast drying glue and some metal plates, which is what he wanted to find before.]
[Boone takes the needle and does as Niko says, scowling the entire time. Tuco put them all in danger, and could have gotten a lot worse than what he did. It does look like he's in pain, so he leaves it at that. That should be enough of a lesson for him. He's still visibly pissed off, though.]
I don't think he can focus too well on you guys. That is spider poison.
[Niko finds the closes pinholes in the wall and covers it up with the metal plate. He's going to have to do that with all of them so this is going to take a while.]
They have places in some of these temples that blow up, though. Keep an eye on him, he's probably going to see not fun things.
[When Niko's right, he's right: while Tuco makes a pitiful attempt to wrestle Boone's hand away from him before the needle sinks into his shoulder, he doesn't exactly look as if he's about to be jumping to his feet anytime soon. That's not to say he's lost all his fight, though. Directing an absolutely furious expression towards Boone, he kicks his leg, blurting out a strained:]
Me cago en tu puta madre. [And then, twitching his head in Belloq's direction:] Y tú.
I never— [There's a flicker of confusion and he lets his chin sag to his chest, looking rather like he's lost whatever steam he was trying to build up.] I didn't do anything. [It comes out as a creaky, distracted whine. Rather than glowering at his companions, however, he's now focused in on what appears to be a thin line sticking up from his thigh. An itchy line—one that hurts like a son of a bitch if you try to flatten it.
Moving his hand away, he rolls back and mouths a few variations of the word 'shit'. His arm hurts. His ego hurts.]
[Boone doesn't know what Tuco just said, but the look on his face says it wasn't pleasant. He doesn't care. He grunts and leaves him to his pain, waiting for Niko to get done with the plates but keeping one eye on Tuco all the while. He doesn't look like he'll be springing to his feet and causing trouble anytime soon, but it's still best to be sure. Another stunt like that could get them all killed.]
[Belloq knows many languages and has travelled extensively in South America. Tuco's accent isn't like what he's familiar with, but he recognizes the words well enough.]
Do you really kiss your mother with that mouth, friend Tuco?
[As he speaks, his eyes dart around, looking for further evidence of traps.]
[Niko stops what he's doing and comes over to pluck it out. There's a nice pile of darts just laying on the linoleum stones.]
Most of the stuff here works by pressure plate or trip wire. That's why I said if something moves a little move real fast back the way you came. A lot of the machinery is old and shitty. Takes a while for it to work.
[The abrupt pull of the dart has Tuco's head swinging up. Predictably, he curses again, hand clamping down on his thigh, but this time the vitriol isn't aimed anywhere (or at anyone) in particular. In fact, when his eyes finally do flick up from his leg, it's to focus unsteadily on the wall opposite him.]
Heeeey, [he says after a long moment, holding the note like he's trying (and failing) to drag several syllables out of it.] Look. [He's pointing now, face scrunched as if he's staring at something stupefying.
[Boone glances over at the patch of rock, then back at Tuco, visibly confused.]
What is it?
[He isn't seeing anything special about what Tuco is looking at. Maybe he's just confused from whatever the dart did to him? Still, he looks over at Niko to see if he's noticed anything weird about the rock, too.]
[Belloq looks as well, wondering if Tuco has spotted some markings left behind by the temple's builders, perhaps a small engraving, or a message etched in the stone.]
This man is tripping balls. [Niko warns them.] The venom is more potent this way, and these traps are old. Very old. But it's his first time. It's a hard lesson in a new temple- at least we didn't get our fucking feet blown off. [He resists the urge to comment on how he knew a few people back home that would probably try to snort it. He usually doesn't try to hide too much in front of Boone, but he's still security.]
[Niko finishes blocking off what holes that he can. That leaves them with the chest, right there, that they can open.]
[Tuco looks away from the shifting pattern and opens his mouth to reply, only for Niko to get there first. While he has no idea what 'tripping balls' is supposed to mean, the image it conjures up results in a cat-sneeze of a laugh, and he smirks despite himself.]
One time, I blew up a whole bridge. [It comes out as some kind of liquid slur.] Langstone. [With a little waggle of his fingers he adds a helpful:] Pchhhhhh!
[At some point between becoming a junior foley artist and falling silent again, he must have closed his eyes, because something bright streaks across the backs of his eyelids and he abruptly lurches sideways, dry-heaving. It's in the process of dragging his shirt cuff across his upper lip that he seems to notice Niko is done with the plates. Throat bobbing, he drops his arm and makes a small, questioning sound.
And then his face contorts into some grim mask of determination: there's absolutely no way he's going to let them open it up without him. That's his two hundred thousand.]
[Boone scoots out of the way when Tuco leans over to vomit, getting back to his feet once he sees that Niko is done with the plates. He doesn't approach the chest yet, though.]
Is it safe?
[He doesn't feel like going down the same way Tuco did. It looks like the holes are blocked off, but he doesn't know if the chest itself will turn out to be a trap. Better to be careful.]
I am sure the falling bridge was very impressive. [He says to Tuco and holds his shoulders as he retches. Once the gastric spasm are finished, he gives Tuco a clap on the back.
He glances at Niko and Boone with an expression of "I've got this covered" and helps Tuco stay upright.
Gestures of helpfulness and compassion often earn people's trust.]
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the_last_resort2014-09-22 09:43 pm
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Right now, that box there? That's Schrödinger's box—only instead of a distinctly unlucky cat, it holds both bitter disappointment and all the world's riches at once.
...Or enough riches for one of them, at least. With a soft grunt, Tuco turns, holding up a palm to his three companions.]
Four men shuffle down a corridor all at once? [His mouth twitches into something like a frown.] It's not gonna end well, friends. One boot in the wrong place, and we all end up looking like him. [He gestures to the spider with the end of his pistol.] Eight legs in the air, and very, very dead.
[There's maybe two seconds worth of mock-deliberation and nostril flaring before Tuco nods to himself. That open palm closes, and he draws his hand back to his chest.]
I'll go.
[Whether that quick ladle of bullshit has done the job or not, he's going to take a pointed step backwards.]
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We've got two people here who have more experience than us. Doesn't make sense to send you down there on your own when you don't know what to look out for. It should be someone else, or at the very least someone should go with you. Then you can tell the rest of us if it's safe to follow.
[And since Boone is in the same position as Tuco, it means Belloq or Niko should probably go with him.]
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Mr. Bellic should go. He is the most experienced guide. I know temples, but not these temples. I defer to his skill.
If you have no objections. [The last is said to Niko.]
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I'll need a little bit. [He doesn't seem in a huge rush to go down the hallway towards the nameless treasures just yet.]
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Instead he nods absently, sending his knuckles up to swipe across his nose. He's not going to argue; he's just there to help out and learn the ropes, right?
Jump-cut to his other heel shifting back across the stone. His face adopts a look of ridiculously over-elaborate innocence, and he presses a hand against the wall like he's suddenly interested in architecture. A scuff of a toe here and a turn there, and wow, would you look at that: he's coincidentally that little bit closer to the chest!
With any luck, he'll be able to continue his casual, "I'm not really moving, I'm just fidgeting" crawl for just long enough that it becomes impractical for him to go back—that, really, he might as well keep going.
...Of course, that doesn't really account for any unexpected clicks.]
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I would strongly advise you not to take another step, Mr. Ramirez.
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Tuco, no, take a step this way. [He's already getting up, but it might be too late. Darts whistle across at the end of the corridor.]
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There's a sensation like a cold, icy finger trailing across his neck, and he freezes, eyes impossibly wide and mouth stretched in a kind of rictus of startled alarm.
When he finally reanimates, it's with a full-bodied jerk that has him twisting back to point his gun at whatever it is that's causing the hissing coming from behind him. Although he then does exactly as he's told, (he's an opportunist, not a complete idiot) his initial step back turns into an all out scrabble as he howls and drops low. The motion ends with him practically throwing himself in a leap-turned-faceplant worthy of a high school quarterback.]
Shit!
[The reedy whine is followed by a barrage of unintelligible cursing that lasts up until he eventually finishes his floor hugging crawl. He has absolutely, positively, unquestionably been hit, and from the way he's drawing one arm in, knees sliding up to his chest, it's fair to say it probably hurts a fair bit, too.]
Niko Tuco Boone and Belloq sounds like a messed up children's story waiting to happen.
Here, take this! Give him a shot in the shoulder.
[In the meantime he frantically pilfers through his bag for fast drying glue and some metal plates, which is what he wanted to find before.]
OOC: Tab enter. Sorry guys.
it totally is though
[Boone takes the needle and does as Niko says, scowling the entire time. Tuco put them all in danger, and could have gotten a lot worse than what he did. It does look like he's in pain, so he leaves it at that. That should be enough of a lesson for him. He's still visibly pissed off, though.]
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The call of treasure is strong.
You should keep in mind, friend Tuco, that you can't spend money if you're dead.
[Belloq understands and embraces greed.]
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[Niko finds the closes pinholes in the wall and covers it up with the metal plate. He's going to have to do that with all of them so this is going to take a while.]
They have places in some of these temples that blow up, though. Keep an eye on him, he's probably going to see not fun things.
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Me cago en tu puta madre. [And then, twitching his head in Belloq's direction:] Y tú.
I never— [There's a flicker of confusion and he lets his chin sag to his chest, looking rather like he's lost whatever steam he was trying to build up.] I didn't do anything. [It comes out as a creaky, distracted whine. Rather than glowering at his companions, however, he's now focused in on what appears to be a thin line sticking up from his thigh. An itchy line—one that hurts like a son of a bitch if you try to flatten it.
Moving his hand away, he rolls back and mouths a few variations of the word 'shit'. His arm hurts. His ego hurts.]
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Do you really kiss your mother with that mouth, friend Tuco?
[As he speaks, his eyes dart around, looking for further evidence of traps.]
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[Niko stops what he's doing and comes over to pluck it out. There's a nice pile of darts just laying on the linoleum stones.]
Most of the stuff here works by pressure plate or trip wire. That's why I said if something moves a little move real fast back the way you came. A lot of the machinery is old and shitty. Takes a while for it to work.
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Heeeey, [he says after a long moment, holding the note like he's trying (and failing) to drag several syllables out of it.] Look. [He's pointing now, face scrunched as if he's staring at something stupefying.
...A very stupefying patch of rock, apparently.]
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What is it?
[He isn't seeing anything special about what Tuco is looking at. Maybe he's just confused from whatever the dart did to him? Still, he looks over at Niko to see if he's noticed anything weird about the rock, too.]
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I don't see it.
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[Niko finishes blocking off what holes that he can. That leaves them with the chest, right there, that they can open.]
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One time, I blew up a whole bridge. [It comes out as some kind of liquid slur.] Langstone. [With a little waggle of his fingers he adds a helpful:] Pchhhhhh!
[At some point between becoming a junior foley artist and falling silent again, he must have closed his eyes, because something bright streaks across the backs of his eyelids and he abruptly lurches sideways, dry-heaving. It's in the process of dragging his shirt cuff across his upper lip that he seems to notice Niko is done with the plates. Throat bobbing, he drops his arm and makes a small, questioning sound.
And then his face contorts into some grim mask of determination: there's absolutely no way he's going to let them open it up without him. That's his two hundred thousand.]
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Is it safe?
[He doesn't feel like going down the same way Tuco did. It looks like the holes are blocked off, but he doesn't know if the chest itself will turn out to be a trap. Better to be careful.]
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He glances at Niko and Boone with an expression of "I've got this covered" and helps Tuco stay upright.
Gestures of helpfulness and compassion often earn people's trust.]
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[He opens it up to reveal the contents. Which, sadly, are not all that impressive.]
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and now for a prompt reply :V