the_last_resort | Blackmoon Celebration

More like...[he thinks of how to explain it]...I'm missing home as I would like it to be, not as it is or was. I miss an idea of home that has never really existed in the first place. I have always been devoted to my planet, but it isn't all that I'd like it to be, especially these days.

[That earns a little bit longer of a look, and he pulls out a smoke finally. He doesn't light it. He just holds it between his lips.]

What happened to it? It or the idea of it?

[His shoulders slump a little and for the first time his eyes look his age.]

War. Disease. Greed, ambition, lust for power.

I imagined Gallifrey as the centre of civilization. A planet where the people respect the tenets of Rassilon with wisdom, honour, and tradition. A place that stood as the bulwark against chaos and temporal lawlessness. But it isn't, and I don't know if it ever was. Trying to save it has nearly destroyed me. Now, I'm almost afraid to go back. But I have a duty and I can't just run away like a renegade.

My trip here was partially supposed to be a breath of fresh air during a brief moment of peace, but also a reccie to see if there's anything in this universe that might help us.

Ah. I see.

[He fishes out his lighter and looks at the inscription on it, before tilting his head at Narvin.]

I don't think you're doin' any of the breath of fresh air part, are you?

[He crosses his arms over his chest.]

Relaxation doesn't come naturally to me. And I haven't often had opportunity to practice.

What about you? What brings you here? Or is that another question you aren't permitted to answer. [He says with the tiniest hint of a teasing smile, his expression lightening. Frustrating as it is for someone as curious as Narvin to come up against someone as nondisclosing as Kay, as someone in the intelligence business he can appreciate a person who never lets a hint of a leak escape.]

[Without a beat he says-] The fishing. I never have a chance to fish anymore.

This is gonna smell a little bad for you, by the way. [He's at least nice enough to warn him before he lights up, even if the breeze carries it away quickly.]

Fishing. [Narvin repeats, flatly. He's not sure whether to believe Kay or not.]

[His nose twitches at the cigarette smoke, but he manages to keep any expression of distaste for the smell off his face.]

Why do humans smoke? It was all the rage last time I was on Earth, but I've never understood it.

Yeah, nothin' like a nice quiet day out on a lake with nothin' bothering you catchin' fish.

[He looks at the cigarette. Shrugs.]

Nicotine, I guess. Something to do with our mouths that isn't chewing nails.

So what are some other delicacies that you might not eat now? Speaking of fish.

Mammals and their sucking instincts. [He says as if he's forgotten that he, too, is a mammal.]

Well, I'm trying not to think too hard about how you would describe tafelshrew with shlenk blossoms.

I don't know. Those eggs come in a container that keeps the contents pretty well protected from anything outside.

But I can come up with a hell of a description for anything if you give me time. [At least he's honest.] What are you if not a mammal?

Well...technically...I suppose Gallifreyan base genetics are mammalian. But with all the DNA recoding Rassilon did, it hardly seems the same. [Narvin likes to think so anyway.]

Why don't you want to be a mammal? [He asks around his cigarette. But then removes it to smile at an ambassador that's... basically a rock, that passes by.]

It's all a bit primitive. Animalistic. Natural. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I suppose. I know a woman who takes great pride in being primitive and animalistic. It seems to work for her. [But for all that he respects Leela, he still can't help but feel that Time Lord ways are just better somehow.]

[He purses his lips as he thinks about how to explain his thoughts.]

We are technological. Not in the sense that robots are, it's more sophisticated than that. We use technology to manipulate and program biology, to harness and control nature with science rather than be left to nature's whims. In some ways, we're now more like our machines--the most advanced of which are also often living--than we are like the native wildlife. The line between Time Lord biology and technology is a thin one.

[And then Kay, in a glorious display of curiosity, at least waits until the ambassador is well out of the way and there are no dignitaries about before he asks his next question.]

So did you keep nipples or your equipment because it was traditional?

[This is actually a genuine question.]

[Narvin tries to process the question, his eyebrows raised and mouth hanging open. That. Was probably something that nobody has ever asked any Time Lord about before.

Processing...

...processing...

Nope. All mental systems crashing. Instead of a blue screen of death, Narvin's brain failure results in a red face of death as a blush spreads across his cheeks.

Reboot.]

We got rid of navels.

[He doesn't know why he said that. Back to trying to answer the question like a proper detached adult.]

But all the rest is still there and still...ah...mostly standard.

Do they work?

[Again, it's an honest question. Considering the man works with people that live in cybernetic suits and manage to carry on relationships with humans. His delivery is deadpan, flat, though there's this terrible, awful demon that lurks in the lower recesses of his mind that wants to say, "Well I guess they were expecting you to enjoy a party at some point."]

...

......

Yes?

[He didn't mean to include a question mark pitch at the end of that answer. He clears his throat and tries again.]

Yes.

[And now he's wondering what motivated Rassilon to decide that navels should definitely go but nipples and genitals must remain. Things he's never pondered about the Great Founder before.]

Huh.

[And that's all he has to say about that.]

You might want to be careful with the holier than thous around here, though. I'm thinkin' with the dubious composition of the explosives, your public hints you have some weapons knowledge, demands to know the proceedings and generally over observant and suspicious nature you might seem like a really obvious suspect to the ambassadors.

That said, I don't think you're a terrorist. I just think you're really bad at hiding shit you're proud of and got a lot of stuff that shames you that you wanna deny.

[Narvin huffs out a breath.]

I always seem to be everyone's first suspect. I suppose I should thank you for breaking from the trend.

[He stares at Kay for a few nanospans, assessing, then nods once to himself.]

May I take you into my confidence, Agent Kay? And have your word that, barring reasons of security, you won't spread around the things I tell you?

Sure.

[He finishes off the cigarette and extinguishes it in the dredges of a glass of water, before pouring that in the garbage. After turning the glass over to a waiter he returns, brows raised expectantly and waiting on whether Narvin wants to continue or not.]

[Narvin waits for Kay to dispose of the smelly stick, then begins to casually stroll a little further away from the gathered party goers. Nothing he had to say was so urgently secret that he felt they needed to find a secure room, but a little extra space helps reassure him.]

You're right.

Where I came from I was High Chancellor, which meant, among other things, that I controlled the Chancellery Guard, was responsible for the President's personal security, and was in charge of planetary defense. I was a technician once, many centuries ago, and enjoyed the work. Since I'm not a Chancellor here it seemed better to embrace my new old role completely. So I've pretended that I've never been anything but a technician. [It's all true, just not the whole truth. He decides not to mention what he did in between being a technician and being Chancellor.]

Then the attacks happened and... [He wipes his hand down the lower half of his face.]

I mentioned to you that there had been terrorist attacks on Gallifrey, and that I had been involved in the investigation behind them. But I wasn't just involved, I was in charge. The government was already breaking down, however, leading up to the civil war. Distrust was everywhere. Vital information was being kept from me. Darkel was--[No, he doesn't want to talk about that. Can't talk about that without talking about his role in causing the problems. He switches tack.] She had called a High Council meeting that no one saw fit to inform me about. When I tried to stop it and order an evacuation, I was ignored.

The only way I could stop an assassination was to go up there personally, find the bomb, and hold it in my hands. [He spread his hands in front of him as if he were holding it now.] Only then would they listen.

And then the bomb went off. And by the time I woke up again in the medical station, the planet was in the middle of a civil war.

So if I am inappropriately obsessed with the security investigation behind these attacks, now you know why.

[Kay follows him over and listens to the story. While he doesn't really know why Narvin has been attempting to keep it a secret (since the state of not knowing has caused him notable distress), he does see that it's bothering him. At the same time, someone without proper authorization taking measures into their own hands-]

[Well, he just said it himself. Even with proper authorization, a civil war still came about. Based on distrust, and Narvin isn't particularly giving anyone the chance to be trusted.]

[So he puts his hands on Narvin's shoulders.] Look, Sunshine. I know this must be pretty distressing for you, but we got men in the field. We have patrol with real good eyes.

You can't be obsessed here. You're the tech right now. You gotta go back to when your head was simpler. [He drops his hands, knowing that's probably no small feat. When he had to retire, it was like climbing a mountain.] The situation you described has happened to me at least a dozen times, except I managed to disarm the bomb first. And I'm a baby by your people's standards of longevity.

And even if you were security? From that story? It's pretty evident you'd be way too personally involved to use good judgment. [He gestures at the crowd.] Try to look for some of the good people while you're scannin' around, alright?

[He flicks a glance down at the hands on his shoulder, surprised, then looks up at Kay.]

It's difficult to remember how to trust people. I've seen too many betrayals, and been betrayed a time or two myself. I've been around ambitious, self-serving politicians so long I'm not sure I remember what genuinely good people look like. I'm not even entirely sure I trust you. But...[He cocks his head.]...you seem like an honourable man. And you certainly have the art of discretion down.

I don't know how to ignore the fear that once again this will spiral out of control, as it did on Gallifrey. [And the fear that he'll fail to stop it. Even though here it's not his responsibility to stop it.]

On Gallifrey, the terrorist's prime targets were Academy students. Barely more than children.

[He looks around, before he puts his hands back on Narvin's shoulders.] I can't right now. I gotta keep an eye out. But uh, yeah, maybe you can meet up with me later and tell me about it.

Don't worry about it right now. This is a bad place to let your head slip into that.

[As much as he can tell that Narvin's afraid, this is a story that requires full attention. And, at the moment, that's something that Kay just can't give. He's sympathetic but he's also dutiful.] It's not going to spiral out of control, and before it got even near that point they'd just kick us the hell out.

[Narvin notices that look. That's the look of needing to get back to work. He understands that look.]

Understood.

Return to your-- [He stops and reminds himself to cease phrasing things as orders.]

I'll let you return to your post. Thank you. I would appreciate meeting again later, when you're off duty, and speaking again.

Blackmoon Celebration

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject